It’s the loss I think.
It changes how you view things -sigh- like a lens almost. You see the same memories but you feel them differently. Like the light hits you differently or something. The memories, these thoughts, become painful.
You almost blame yourself for holding onto something that hurts. You kind of rationalize it sometimes. Get rid of something that hurts you but then some part of you, deep down and without warning, jumps up and make you want to hold on.
It’s time to let go I think. Boy that is hard to say….. *tears*