Sallie Mae

Not many of you know this but I am one of those college graduates. I gots me and edsumkation wit a dgree ands evrythang!

As I am part of the population that is “under unprivileged”, basically a white male, I have to pay my own way through college. Meaning, since I don’t have a skin color other than white, I have to secure loans on my own credit and I can pretty much kiss any grant away. I do qualify for some Hispanic loans I think!? Due to my last name being Hispanic but I didn’t even bother. I mean I would walk into the first qualifying interview and I would be crossed off the list pronto, post haste even!

Oh well…..so goes racial inequality. ANYWHO, I did mention that I had to get all my own loans on my own credit. One of those lending companies is Sallie Mae….. the mother f*@king anti-Christ in corporate form.

If you are more than 30 minutes late on a payment you can expect, without fail, a barrage of collection calls EVERY 30 minutes on any of your listed telephones. Such has been the case this weekend EXCEPT that I paid six days early.

Regardless of my EARLY payment, Sallie Mae has taken proactive measures and started collection calls from the 17th until today. My payment is due on the 25th.

Now mind you I answer all my calls and I usually get a recorded greeting “This is an important message, please stay on the phone”. My policy is to hang up! First, I do not recognize the rights of machines to make calls to my person. I consider it an invasion of privacy to have one companies corporate assets call to harass me. Second, if this IS an important phone call…..why delegate it to a machine? Me thinks that this a devaluation of the word “important”. Like when Sallie Mae said I was an important account and then turns around and calls me every thirty minutes to bug the snot out of me for paying early!?!?!

Soooooooo………Today a PERSON from Sallie Mae actually calls me. WOW! They tell me my account is delinquent and that I have to pay.

“Great!” I proclaim! “Now if you could actually check your records and find the last time I paid” I say.

“Well Mr. We-trapped-you-in-an-outrageous-interest-rate. You need to provide us with the records that shows you paid us” he hisses.

“Well, Mr. My-parents-hate-me-and-kicked-me-out-of-the-house-after
-I-told-them-want-to-major-in-liberal-arts I have the e-mail right here and your recor *click*…..”

Sombytch hung up on me!

Here is my new Sallie Mae motto to their customers:

Sallie Mae……we bring a new level on belligerent harassment.

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