So there I am cleaning the bar from all the junk and clutter that gathers there. Its unsightly and hard to find stuff in the house when things are a mess. I dread looking for a piece of mail or something, knowing its in that pile on the bar. I am sure to spend ten minutes trying to keep the shifting mountain from falling all over the floor.

SO…..in a rare display of fairness I decided to clean……the bar. It was actually kind of easy and in the end I just managed to shift the mess to the dining room table. It had become my “staging area” to short out where all the junk was going to go to.

So there I am, like Sir Edmond Hillary, knocking this mountain down when I see an envelope addressed to me. “Great! Another lost bill” I say and I start to open it. Its right about then that my wife, who is making dinner, yelps and comes at me with knife in hand. My reaction….. I scream like a little girl and throw my hands in the air as the card goes flying into the ceiling. Shes looking at me, the kids are looking at me, little ceiling popcorn come floating down and a soft slap of the envelope hitting the kitchen floor.

Apparently it was my Valentines card and my wife learned that I am absolutely no help in a crisis situation.

2 thoughts on “Figures”

  1. See, that’s what you get for being helpful, a knife coming at you! You should just be a useless as poss… wait, uh, nevermind you’ve got it down. 😉 Now go drink a beer and burn something on the grill. hehe


  2. 1. I did not come at him with a knife! I had a knife in my hand, I was cutting vegetables….ugh!Geez he exaggerates on this blog. Kinda like when I “screamed” when I saw the centipede. Not true.2. Since when do bills come handwritten, with no last name and no address?!?3. The kids were not even around to be looking at you4. You never finished cleaning off the bar!


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