The Barn Bandits

We had a helluva first house party at El Braco to Ranch just the other week (The Saturday before the 4th). We had a few of our friends out like Toby & Elvin, Monica, Steve & Celeste, the lady that sold us our house water softener/purifier, Michael Badnarik, and the cops.

First off I must have been BBQ’ing for 6 straight hours! I am still getting my BBQ legs so don’t laugh when I tell you that I blackened the brisket. I need an honest to god smoker but things are tight at the moment with the A/C thing. Ah but things are looking up in that department! The mom found a place of employment with some clinic. She will be irradiating babies or something with X-Rays.

Also, I think my poop tank is gettin a might bit full. A few of the guest said they could smell it when they stood next to it. Which I might point out the “stood next to it” part but it might be a good idea since I don’t know what the previous owner put into that things…..other than poop I mean.

Besides lost guest tracking over the beautiful part of Texas, murdering brisket, and fine judging the aroma of my pooper tank, we had the cops out. And it was not because we were a drunkin cabal of individualist plotting to start a rebel rousing, and not because we were shooting blank .38 specials, and not because we had a column of smoke reaching out into the sky…..nope. none of that.

We called them….on purpose. I know, I know. Calm down….see here, there was a bit of thieving going about. Next doors to be exact. Seems some teenagers and their questionable parenting units got the funny notion to back an El Camino and trailer on to the lots next to me. Now this lot is vacant of a house but people still own the property and what ever happens to be fixed to it. Well it seems that our crew of petty criminals got the thinking that they could unfix a shed-barn building that is on this piece of property. This barn is about your typical run of the mill 20′ x 26′ (don’t quote me on those measurings) metal barn from Home Depot or Lowes. What is not typical is that it is not theirs and they were there to take it.

It must have been when my buddy Steve come out of the house with phone in hand asking if he should call the cops. Now he asked me as I was giving these folks the evil eye from my palace of BBQing goodness and in a state of drinking that would pick me up a P.I. if I where anywhere other than my property. My response in a misunderstood decibel seemed to carry over to where our bandits were removing some contents from the barn.

“Yeah, go ahead and call the Sheriff. Those folks are not suppose to be there.”

I know they don’t own the property cause I am talking to the owners to buy that land from them, just an FYI.

Anywho, the bandits take off shortly after I apparently yelled this out and not more than five minutes later a Sheriff’s deputy shows up. This fella can’t understand why I am dumb founded that he got here so fast but I imagen he most have been patrolling one of the methies out here when he got the call. Well, he got my statement, made a few calls, and promptly arrested the bandits somewhere down the street I assume.

After bail the youngsters are back out on the street in their El Camino. When ever they drive by they give me a one finger salute. It doesn’t bother me much…I figure I’ll meet them down at the store or something and I’ll knock’em around or something. Its basically not high on my list of things to do. I figure a weekend in holding was enough to hold me over on their finger flickin’

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